Are you important to yourself? The minute you make someone else more important than you — that’s the minute respect is lost.
The good news is that when you look to yourself first to feel love, not to anyone else, your self-respect can blossom. Here are some tips.
If you don’t — who will?
Looking out her kitchen window — Jessica sees a car pull into the driveway, it’s Rob for their first date — an early morning hike.
Rob opens the passenger side car door for Jessica, she notices a cup of orange juice, and reaching for it she says, “I’m so glad you have this juice! I didn’t have breakfast.”
Jessica takes a sip, and with shock, she immediately spits it out, because the orange juice is mixed with vodka.
Realizing that Jessica found him out, Rob makes an excuse to end the date, and a taxi takes him home.
Later that morning, recounting the event to her sister, Jessica confesses that she wouldn’t have ended the date — but she’s also aghast and mortified that she didn’t have enough self-love and self-respect to have protected herself by immediately getting out of Rob’s car by her own choice.
Whether you’re single like Jessica, partnered, or married, the level of self-respect we each have for ourselves influences the choices we make every day.
Here are 4 simple reasons self-respect rules:
1. Do not make anyone else more important than you
Are you important to yourself? The minute you make someone else more important than you — that’s the minute respect is lost — your respect for yourself and the respect another has for you. It’s impossible for a person to believe you are more important than you see yourself.
If you don’t love yourself fiercely, have extreme self-care by placing yourself and your well-being first, nothing in your life will be harmonious, especially not dating.
2. Stand strong
If you are a people-pleaser and don’t set boundaries because you think this will make people like you, you are mistaken — it has the opposite effect.
Not only do you lose self-respect, others will treat you like a doormat. You teach people how to treat you, and if you don’t value yourself first and foremost which is the foundation of self-respect, you will not be valued by others.
You teach people how to treat you, and if you don’t value yourself first and foremost which is the foundation of self-respect, you will not be valued by others.
3. Self-respect makes you irresistible
No one but you has the power to give or take away your happiness. When you look to yourself first to feel love, not to anyone else, your self-respect can blossom. Self-respect makes you feel phenomenal and emits positive energy, so people are extremely attracted to an individual who has self-respect.
Be resolute in increasing your self-respect: If you feel low self-respect, it is an indication that you need to learn to love yourself more.
4. Stop dead-end dating
Keep your dignity: Don’t get stuck holding onto the signpost, forgetting about the road. Own your power by being discerning, sometimes you might date a great woman or man, but she or he is not right for you.
Hold people to high but reasonable standards. If you know that the person you are dating isn’t a match for you, tell them as soon as possible, and communicate with compassion, using kind words such as, “Thank you for sharing time with me, yet I don’t believe we have a connection.”
Self-respect filters out anyone who is unsuitable for you — as a result of disrespect being intolerable to you — although maintain your positive outlook on dating, after all, there are some wonderful people out there, and you are one of them!